A FATHERLESS GIRL
A Fatherless girl
Became a Fatherless woman
Trying to fill the emptiness and not knowing
How to fill a hole in my life, that stemmed from a hole in my soul
How does anyone fill that kind of void?
I've poured liquor in it;
I've blown smoke in it;
I've consumed too much food
Nothing fills it
I was only a child when you took your life
And it changed MY life forever
You weren't there to show me how I should be treated
Fatherless girls keep looking for him in other men's eyes
Hoping a man's love will make her whole again
Without fatherly guidance we become prey
We give ourselves away
Until there is almost nothing left of self
Being abandoned leaves us feeling we are of little worth
Accepting and believing in our insignificance
Now I've reached the middle part of life
I don't miss you any less than I did the day you left
I've learned that the abyss in me cannot be satisfied by a person or a thing
The pain is not mean to be numbed
Only I can give me what you could not
I'll be the Father I always deserved
I am not less without you
I am worthy of love and deserving of life because I know their value
You gave me life and love and then took them from me
Reclaiming both have allowed me to set you free
Goodbye Daddy
THE SLOW GOODBYE
We were close, closer than most
Sometimes that meant lines were crossed
And sometimes we didn't know they were crossed
Until actions couldn't be undone
Words couldn't be unsaid
Then like a plane you started your descent
It was a slow goodbye
You left piece by piece
In your lucid moments you were able to communicate you didn't like this place
Like you knew your memory was being erased
It made me appreciate that we have been close, closer than most
Maybe somewhere in your DNA you knew time was of the essence
You were able to enjoy your grandchildren
You saw me find happiness
And as the clock was ticking down...
I found out that you were glad I had
That knowledge was liberating
Our relationship had its share of trials but it never lacked love
Love and Life, so many unexpected twists and turns
As I sat with you in your silence,
I was able to find the words
To tell you everything
Then both you and I could let go
And finally end this slow goodbye
As ready as I thought I was for you to find peace
I am still struggling
We were close, closer than most
I'll carry the good memories and release the rest
I hope you did the same
I'll find you in the light
I know your love will call my name
A Fatherless girl
Became a Fatherless woman
Trying to fill the emptiness and not knowing
How to fill a hole in my life, that stemmed from a hole in my soul
How does anyone fill that kind of void?
I've poured liquor in it;
I've blown smoke in it;
I've consumed too much food
Nothing fills it
I was only a child when you took your life
And it changed MY life forever
You weren't there to show me how I should be treated
Fatherless girls keep looking for him in other men's eyes
Hoping a man's love will make her whole again
Without fatherly guidance we become prey
We give ourselves away
Until there is almost nothing left of self
Being abandoned leaves us feeling we are of little worth
Accepting and believing in our insignificance
Now I've reached the middle part of life
I don't miss you any less than I did the day you left
I've learned that the abyss in me cannot be satisfied by a person or a thing
The pain is not mean to be numbed
Only I can give me what you could not
I'll be the Father I always deserved
I am not less without you
I am worthy of love and deserving of life because I know their value
You gave me life and love and then took them from me
Reclaiming both have allowed me to set you free
Goodbye Daddy
THE SLOW GOODBYE
We were close, closer than most
Sometimes that meant lines were crossed
And sometimes we didn't know they were crossed
Until actions couldn't be undone
Words couldn't be unsaid
Then like a plane you started your descent
It was a slow goodbye
You left piece by piece
In your lucid moments you were able to communicate you didn't like this place
Like you knew your memory was being erased
It made me appreciate that we have been close, closer than most
Maybe somewhere in your DNA you knew time was of the essence
You were able to enjoy your grandchildren
You saw me find happiness
And as the clock was ticking down...
I found out that you were glad I had
That knowledge was liberating
Our relationship had its share of trials but it never lacked love
Love and Life, so many unexpected twists and turns
As I sat with you in your silence,
I was able to find the words
To tell you everything
Then both you and I could let go
And finally end this slow goodbye
As ready as I thought I was for you to find peace
I am still struggling
We were close, closer than most
I'll carry the good memories and release the rest
I hope you did the same
I'll find you in the light
I know your love will call my name
