"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible" - Dalai Lama I have always been a sensitive person. At times this has put me at a disadvantage, especially as child when the playground could be a war zone for anyone different. I would lie to try and protect myself. I used to see this sensitivity as a disadvantage, but now I realize it is one of my greatest gifts. I am often able to articulate other people's feelings when they struggle to do that themselves. Some of my best work comes from expressing an event, or a feeling that was someone else's experience. I am able to do this by spending time with them and just listening. I've learned that the parts you need to really concentrate and listen intently to are not the words but the silences. The deepest part of us is revealed in our silence.
Of late I've heard a few stories that kicked me in the groin as though they'd happened to me. I heard of an instance where someone was judged by another in quite a public setting. It said so much about the person yelling across a crowded restaurant. The recipient felt shame and humiliation, which sadly was the intent of the ass doling out the venom. I spent a long time in silence thinking about both parties. We are all fighting a hard battle. My high school reunion is this August and I was asked to find a few people. In a class of approximately 100 I have heard several stories of tragedy - brain injuries, trips to rehab, living on the street and even 2 deaths. I know that there will be people that won't want to attend because they somehow feel that they didn't accomplish enough, or don't have enough, and that breaks my heart. We are enough just by being alive. Our survival rate of bad days is 100% to date. We made it. I was not in the 1% of high schoolers that had a fabulous time; and I have never felt the desire to attend a reunion. There is a place in my own silence that perhaps needs to make peace with these people or this time in my life and so I shall attend. It is very hard sometimes to remember that we cannot see what is behind someone's angry outburst, or anti-social tendencies - and should not judge them. Someone may have lost their job or they could have received a fatal diagnosis from their doctor - we will never know. It costs nothing to be kind. All the things that really matter can't be bought - kindness, love, health and happiness. I borrowed the Dalai Lama's words because of their simple truth - "be kind whenever possible - it is always possible...." That's the beauty of kindness, it doesn't cost anything - and by sharing it the benefit is for both the giver and the receiver... Love and Karma, Melody
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I originally wrote this for a friend when his Mother died a couple of years ago - today it is dedicated to Roxanne who's Mother passed on June 5th... may it bring some comfort to all those that can relate...
BREATH - my first, your last, we shared. Together. Flesh and Blood. No distance could sever our connection... Not even this one. Your touch, your kiss - My first. My touch, my kiss - Your last. Mom, You live, in my... Every... Breath. © MELODY FOWLER UNCENSORED VERSION!
This seems particularly appropriate after losing my cousin Nathan Feist today. My friend Kay went to a 24-hour produce store in her neighbourhood. She was greeted by the elderly Chinese proprietor warmly, "Hello my friend!" He shows her a box of organic bananas that are a little ripe and tells her he'll sell her the whole box for $5. She asks him several times if he's sure. She figured she'd freeze them for the smoothies she makes for herself. She says, "let me just go and pay for my other items." He says, "no no whole thing $5 and I'll carry it for you to your car." How can she refuse? Kay has been through quite a bit this year after her boyfriend died on Valentine's day, but was feeling a little peaceful and asked the man if he'd noticed the stillness in the air. He says something along the lines of, "oh you are one of those spiritual people" And she tells him about her boyfriend... etc. and his response forgive me Kay for not getting it verbatim -went a little something like this... "Everyone thinks heaven is soft music and flowers. What F*** do I want with soft music and flowers?" "Chinese people think heaven is gold and jade. What the F*** do I want with gold and jade? Heaven is being happy. Be happy. I want to have fun with my friends. I want to have sex. That's heaven. Be happy. " Now of course Kay was STARTLED to say the least - a) because of his language and he was elderly and b) because she didn't want the visual of him :) lol. But you know... when she told me the story I had to agree with him, and she did get the message - which I'm sure her bf had a hand in delivering from the other side. BE HAPPY. Have fun! Fill everyday with love and laugher - and have a lot of sex damn it! :) ♥ ♥ ♥ Every so often life pulls the rug out from under you. It might be a health issue (yours or a loved ones), a sudden lay-off from work, or the words or actions of another that cut you to your core. I was impaled by the words of someone I considered a friend. I had not seen this person in more than a decade and was gob-stopped at the heartlessness of her words. At first I felt a combination of emotions - hurt, anger, sadness... and then I did what I had to do to protect myself.
When I asked this person what she thought of my book she said, "I thought it was shallow." I took the word at its meaning and asked her if she'd realized that much of what I wrote was not about me. She mumbled something saying they were just words on a page. Even so far as telling me I had no business writing about some of the things I wrote about. I chose not to defend or explain I just listened. When she was done hacking me up she queried, "now I suppose you are mad at me?" I said, "No. You are entitled to your opinion" She then commented that she believed I had it in me to write something great and asked when my next book was coming out. Those words were empty. I got off the phone with her and my darling husband asked me what had happened and I told him. He was horrified. He said, "I hope you didn't take that into your spirit. I hope you know that you are a great writer. Please don't let this mess with your head." He knows how the wet-blanketing of others can turn an artist into a crying mess. He's seen this kind of venom fill me self-doubt. I said, "No. I am going to allow 1 hour to feel this combination of emotions and then I'm going to let it go." In my years of writing this is probably one, if not THE MOST VALUABLE thing I have learned, do not absorb the negativity. When people react that way it says so much more about them than it say about you. Your reaction is also important, don't give away your power by believing in their opinion. Trust you ability and never stop believing in yourself. I have learned to release myself from negativity and negative people. There is a difference between criticism and this type of venom. Poetry is not for everyone. My work is not for everyone. A true friend, or any decent person would have said, "Not really my thing, but good for you for putting yourself out there." Instead she chose to give her all to undermining my confidence. I am here to tell you she does not have that kind of power. She cannot take from me what I do not choose to give her. In the past such behaviour would have caused me a serious setback, but I am different person now. She can't take away from me that I am a published writer. She can't take away all the amazing reviews I have received. She can't unsell the books I've sold. She cannot take from me the moments I've shared when people have said to me, "I felt like you looked right into my soul and wrote what I was feeling. Thank-you." No she cannot take any of that from me. Surprisingly I feel grateful for her showing me that I am stronger than my critics. I am also glad she revealed herself for who she really is, and that is really valuable information. Onward and upward my artist-self is safe because I know how to protect her now. So friends, let the haters hate... they berate what they cannot create! Melody I am in the throws of my vacation. It isn't a trip to Paris or laying on a beach. It is a working vacation to complete my novel. I am filling my days with yoga, family, friends... and writing.
I had to deal with a huge disappointment last month. After months of negotiations with a Chapters location (brick and mortar as opposed to on-line store!) I was going to be on the shelf. Turned out the deal with my publisher did not include the pre-requisite "book buyers return it program" necessary to be stocked on their shelf. It continues to be available on-line. I licked my wounds and vented about it on Facebook... as it turns out that was the right move, and as I've always believed everything happens for a reason. The right person saw my post and offered an introduction to an agent. Most of you may not realize this but it is almost impossible to land an agent without an introduction. This offer is a HUGE gift from this person and the universe. Wish me well and send me positive creative vibes and the reward will be worth the energy sent! It is imperative that I finish this piece for my own peace of mind. I'll keep you posted! NAMASTE! On Saturday night I attended Shane Koyczan's performance at The Vogue in Vancouver, BC. For those of you that are not familiar with Shane, he is poetic genius. Some of you may have seen him perform at the Vancouver 2010 Olympics. The first time I saw him was a small coffee shop on Commercial Drive in Vancouver around 2008. I had no idea who he was, I only knew that his words brought me to tears. I approached him before I left that night to tell him as much. His performance on Saturday was extremely moving. Beyond the performance, what truly touched me were the anecdotes he shared about his family, his friends, his lovers and his bullies. He told us he had almost been off anti-depressants for a year and had quit smoking over a year ago. He did not mention his weight loss but that was pretty obvious as well. He shared the heartache of being bullied as a child. The hurt he suffered as an adult. He bravely invited us all in to understand his journey. What an amazing human being and for me a personal hero. He travels the world performing his poetry and has 3 books so far... 2 of which I have carted around for years hoping for the opportunity to have them signed. I had my moment on Saturday night. I was so nervous. I was grateful my dear friend Deborah was there as the greatest wing woman in the world! She shared the performance, laughed with me, cried with me and then made sure I was in the right place to have my books signed. This was no small feat, the Vogue holds 1,000+ and has a very small lobby and you could see the staff were in a bit of a panic, as was I... I was probably about 5 people back. I listened the teenagers behind me filled with excitement talking about the fact they may miss the last sky train but didn't care because they were going to meet Shane Koyczan! Here's me 30 years older than them and having the same dialogue inside, freaking out with excitement. The gentleman in front of me asked Shane if he would sign his ticket stub and told him how moved he was by the performance. Shane was of course gracious so lovely signing his ticket and asking the man his name. Shane makes no bones about he is terrible with names. It was then my turn. I wanted to be witty. I wanted to be memorable. The man is my hero after all, right? I said,"well I'm going to make up for him I have 3 books for you to sign." Shane said, "wow you have the whole set." AND THEN IT HAPPENED. He looked up paused and said, "is your name Melody?" Time stopped. I thought I'd had a break with reality. "Melody Fowler, right?" I am honestly unsure if I responded. My wing woman commented, "Wow you have a good memory." She looked at the stage horrified realizing he may think she meant the poetry and added, "for faces." Now this may not be verbatim, understand I was questioning my sanity... but he answered something like, "well some faces are so beautiful you remember the name attached to them." Once again I do not remember if I was able to squeak out thank-you - clearly there would be no witty or memorable dialogue coming from me, so I kissed him. I am GRATEFUL to the universe that security did not cart me away. It would have been worth it though... Whatever words followed I cannot recall, I know he thanked me for coming out... WOW. Deborah and I like two schoolgirls re-enacted the scene over and over again on our way home. I am glad there was a witness because I absolutely would have checked myself in for observation if there hadn't been! Everybody needs a hero. Not everybody's hero lives up to what they believe in their hearts and minds though. Mine surpassed anything I could of dreamed up. Shane is included in the dedication of Life Lyrics and I had sent an email to his fan page saying as much - I don't know if he ever saw it... but if he sees this - I want him to know I can now say with some authority, I know what awesome tastes like!  You will continue to inspire me Share.
With Much Love, Melody xoxoxoxoxo LIFE LYRICS will be available ON THE SHELF at the Coquitlam Branch of Chapters on Pinetree and Lougheed in Coquitlam, BC.
This is a pivotal moment for my little book. The poetry section of most books stores is tiny, sometimes non-existent! Sales in this genre account for only 0.1% of the store's overall sales so they don't often cut anyone break to carry a book. If anything you see the well established (and mostly dead poets) carried on the shelf. This location will have 2 copies and if they don't sell after a month - they pull them (gasp! Picture me falling to the ground clutching my heart as the dream slips away.) This is a big shot for a little book. So my darling fans - if you haven't purchased it and you are in the Coquitlam area - make sure you pick it up! Keep the dream alive! MUCH LOVE.... Melody YOU ARE THE DIFFERENCE!
I am deeply touched by the personal emails, cards, notes and kind words of praise you have given me for Life Lyrics.When you are a writer, just starting out, you don't have representation and have to do much of the advertising, legwork, etc. yourself. A book will only be stocked on the shelves when it reaches a certain level of sales on-line. This is why things like reviews are so important! You could make the difference for me. Each and every one of you matter. It only takes a couple of minutes and could boost the exposure my book receives. It doesn't matter which site you use, www.barnesandnoble.com; www.chapters.indigo.ca or www.amazon.com (although Amazon limits reviews to people that have purchased from them.) I say from my heart, without YOU there would be no "Life Lyrics." Thank-YOU! Melody I've been reading voraciously lately. I cannot seem to get enough of Richard Wagamese. What stunned me with Richard is that despite the fact that he has been making a living as a writer since the late 1970s, and even after he had published numerous books, his life had been filled with some serious darkness. He stumbled many times battling his own personal demons. I admire that he has shared that journey and has not spared us even the ugliest details. He did not make any attempt to pretty it up; and most importantly, he got up and was able to open the door to the rest of his life. He had to journey a long way to find it, but he had found the key.
This afternoon I watched a documentary on the musician Ron Sexmith. Despite being one of Canada's most amazing songwriters he has not achieved commercial success. Huge names in the music biz praise his abilities. He's respected and recognized for his amazing gift and yet at the time of the filming of the documentary he was still doing his laundry at the laundramat. Indeed he was signing autographs and doing his laundry, no doubt confusing the fans. Ron does not have the key - but I hope he finds it. I really felt Ron's lack of confidence. Producer Bob Rock voiced to Ron that if he didn't get past those feelings he was not going to move forward. How many of us have that struggle? We have all the elements but lack the key to open the door. The key is in all of us. What is the key? The key is what we believe. You can have all the talent, ambition, support in the world, but if you don't really believe all your work is for not. Ron and Richard both struggle as artists and human beings like we all do. Their words have touched me deeply. Their struggles have inspired me. I believe they have shone a light for me so that I can see the difference between wanting something and having it. The key is locked inside what we believe. Many can confuse desire with belief, but it is not the same. I believe Ron knows he was born to be a songwriter - but there is more to it than that... Richard believed he was a writer. He knew he was writer. What he didn't believe was that he deserved love, happiness and success. When he finally believed that he did deserve those things they were there. I'm not going say that I don't struggle, I do. Do I believe I'm a writer? This is one of the few things I can say with 100% confidence. I am a writer. Where do I believe that will take me? My answer is that I am in the process of finding that key - I'll keep you posted... My words have been to many places in the world that I have yet to see. Since my words are part of me it is satisfying to know that I have, in a sense, travelled to the far reaches of the globe. My words whether on the typed pages of my book or on the internet, have trekked many miles and into many hearts and the journey is just beginning.
Next month my book is going to be at the Book Fair in Earls Court London, April 16th to 19th. It will be displayed at the Foreword Magazine Exhibit. What it means for me is that 24,500 publishing professionals will have access to my book at this global market place. They are there to negotiate for rights, sales and distribution of content. A few months later June 5-7th my book will find itself at the Book Expo in New York City trying to find itself in the hands of 22,000 publishing professionals. This kind of exposure can be a game changer for a writer. I will let my little book travel on its own this time. My hope is that it charms its way into the right hearts so we can get on the plane together next time around. Bon Voyage Life Lyrics! |